What Does the Bible Say About Dating?
Dating isn’t just about finding the right person — it’s about becoming who God calls you to be.
Great question — and one that many Christians ask today, especially when trying to navigate relationships with a desire to honor God.
The Bible doesn’t talk about “dating” the way we know it in modern culture — there were no apps, no casual dating, and no extended boyfriend/girlfriend stages in biblical times. Relationships were typically initiated by families with the intention of marriage. That said, God’s Word gives us powerful principles that absolutely apply to modern dating.
Let’s explore what the Bible says about dating — even if it doesn’t use the word itself.
❤️ Why Dating Feels So Confusing
Dating in today’s world can feel like a mess. There’s pressure to pair up early, fear of missing out, fear of being alone, and a never-ending scroll of highlight reels on social media. Christians often find themselves torn — wanting to date in a way that honors God, but unsure how to navigate love, attraction, and purity in a culture that promotes instant gratification and low commitment.
Maybe you’re wondering:
- “How far is too far?”
- “How do I know if someone is ‘the one’?”
- “Does God even care who I date?”
Let’s be honest — dating can stir up deep insecurities, temptations, and longings. But it can also be a beautiful opportunity to learn trust, character, and sacrificial love — if you approach it God’s way.
The Bible may not say “Don’t text your ex” or “Swipe wisely,” but it offers timeless wisdom that can anchor your heart, guide your choices, and lead you into relationships that glorify Jesus.
🔍 Biblical Foundation: What Does God Say About Relationships?
Though Scripture doesn’t describe “dating,” it speaks extensively about relationships, love, marriage, purity, wisdom, and the kind of person God wants us to become.
1. Pursue God First — Not a Relationship
“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” – Matthew 6:33
Our first priority is to seek God, not romance. When your identity is rooted in Christ — not in a relationship — you’re less likely to compromise and more likely to love from a place of security.
2. Guard Your Heart Wisely
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23
Your heart is the wellspring of your life. Be careful who you give emotional and spiritual access to. Dating should not be casual when it comes to your heart.
3. Honor God with Your Body
“Flee from sexual immorality… you are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” – 1 Corinthians 6:18–20
Physical boundaries in dating matter because your body belongs to the Lord. Purity isn’t about repression — it’s about devotion and trust in God’s timing.
4. Don’t Be Unequally Yoked
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.” – 2 Corinthians 6:14
Dating someone who doesn’t share your faith leads to conflict, compromise, or heartbreak. It’s not just about belief — it’s about direction. Are you both moving toward Christ?
5. Look for Fruit, Not Just Feelings
“You will recognize them by their fruits.” – Matthew 7:16
Don’t just ask: “Do they make me feel good?” Ask: “Do they show the fruit of the Spirit? Are they kind, patient, faithful, humble?” (see Galatians 5:22–23)
6. Love Like Jesus
“Love is patient, love is kind… It does not insist on its own way… It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4–7
Love isn’t just a feeling — it’s a commitment to serve, honor, and build up someone else. And real love starts with Christ.
🛠️ Practical Guidance: How to Date in a Way That Honors God
So how do you live out these truths while dating?
1. Date With Purpose
Don’t date just to avoid loneliness or pass time. Dating should be a process of evaluating potential for marriage. If you’re not ready for that, it may be wise to wait.
Ask yourself:
- Can I see myself marrying this person?
- Am I seeking God’s will or just following my feelings?
2. Set Boundaries Early
Talk about physical and emotional boundaries before you’re tempted. Boundaries aren’t about restriction — they’re about freedom to walk in integrity.
Examples:
- Avoid sleeping over
- Limit late-night alone time
- Don’t isolate from community
3. Involve Wise Community
“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” – Proverbs 15:22
Invite godly mentors, friends, and church leaders into your relationship. They can see red flags or affirm healthy growth.
4. Be Honest About Red Flags
Don’t ignore warning signs. Things like controlling behavior, dishonesty, sexual pressure, or spiritual apathy are serious. You are not being judgmental — you’re being wise.
5. Pray Together (But With Caution)
Praying together is powerful — but it can also create false intimacy too soon. Balance spiritual connection with emotional maturity and accountability.
6. Don’t Idolize the Relationship
When dating becomes your identity, it’s easy to lose your spiritual grounding. Keep Jesus at the center. Remember: Your worth is not tied to your relationship status.
🪞 Heart Work: What’s Really Driving You?
Let’s get real: Dating can reveal a lot about our hearts.
- Are you dating out of fear — fear of being alone, left behind, or unlovable?
- Are you driven by fantasy, thinking a relationship will “complete” you?
- Are you putting your hope in a person more than in God?
You might need to pause and ask:
“What am I hoping to gain from dating that I should be receiving from Jesus?”
Many Christian singles carry wounds from past relationships, rejection, or sexual compromise. The good news? Jesus heals and restores. You don’t have to date perfectly. But you can walk in freedom, knowing that His grace covers your past and guides your future.
🌱 Encouragement: You’re Not Alone in This
Every Christian who desires a God-honoring relationship walks this road with some confusion, setbacks, and growth. The journey can be hard — but you are not alone.
- Jesus understands your longings.
- The Holy Spirit empowers purity, patience, and discernment.
- God is not withholding good — He is shaping you for what is good.
Whether you’re single, dating, or healing from past pain, remember: God’s timing is perfect. His love is enough. His way is worth it.
📣 Walk Forward in Faith
Dating isn’t just about finding the right person — it’s about becoming the person God wants you to be.
So take a breath. You don’t have to have it all figured out. But you can start walking in wisdom, purity, and surrender today. Seek God first. Listen to His voice. Set wise boundaries. Trust His leading.
Sample Prayer
“Lord, I give You my heart and my desire for love. Help me trust Your timing. Make me into someone who loves like You. Guide my steps, guard my heart, and lead me in relationships that glorify You. Amen.”
Questions for Reflection
- Am I seeking a relationship to fill a void that only God can satisfy?
- What boundaries do I need to establish to protect purity and honor God?
- Who can I invite to speak truth into my dating life?
- What character qualities am I cultivating as I wait?